MAD Magazine #513

MAD Magazine #513 • USA • 1st Edition - New York
1st Edition - New York
February 1st, 2012
The 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things 2011
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Table of Contents

Contents Page

Page: 1

"America is still the greatest country in the world… but only because all the other countries are collapsing even faster than we are!"

Department: Alfred E. Neuman Quotes

Page: 1

Letters & Tomatoes (with Peter Kuper and more decorated Spy vs. Spy figures)

Photographer: Irving Schild Artist: Bill Morrison Artist: Jim Lee Artist: Weird Al Yankovic Artist: Carlos "The Beast Brothers" East Jr. Artist: Ernesto "The Beast Brothers" East Artist: Pendleton Ward Artist: Thomas Weiser Artist: Casey Willis

Page: 2

The Fundalini Pages

  • Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds - Rick Perry

    Artist: Bob Staake

    Page: 6

  • LeLievre and Let LeLievre - "Are we dead yet?"

    Artist, Writer: Glen LeLievre

    Page: 6

  • You May Have Too Many Cats If...

    Artist: Kevin Pope Writer: Teresa Burns Parkhurst

    Page: 6

  • Your Small Town Police Blotter

    Writer: Jeff Kruse

    Page: 7

  • Fundalini Asks: "What Do You Think They're Talking About?"

    Artist: Scott Bricher

    Page: 7

  • The Fast Five - How to Curb Fan Violence in Pro Sports

    Artist: Tom Bunk Writer: Jeff Kruse

    Page: 7

  • Vey to Go

    Artist, Writer: P.C. Vey

    Page: 7

  • The Fast Five - Tip-Offs That Your Significant Other Just Might Be a Serial Killer

    Writer: Kit Lively Artist: Tim Hamilton

    Page: 8

  • Tiger Momma

    Artist, Writer: Jacob Lambert

    Page: 8

  • Worst-Selling Mail Order Catalog Items for the Holidays

    Artist: Charles Akins Writer: Jeff Kruse

    Page: 10

  • Salas in Wonderland

    Artist, Writer: Jason Salas

    Page: 10

  • Unwritten Rules for Transgender Newbies

    Artist, Writer: John Caldwell

    Page: 10

Advertisement For Subscriptions

Page: 9

The MAD 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of...

  • The Mad 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of 2011 - Introduction Page

    Page: 11

  • 1. The U.S. Debt Crisis - "The Walking Debt" - (The Walking Dead TV parody poster)

    Page: 12

  • 2. Tired Air Traffic Controllers - "Stay the F**k Awake" - (Go the F**k to Sleep Book Parody)

    Artist: James Warhola Writer: Darren Johnson

    Page: 14

  • 3. Covering for a Pedophile - "The Blind Eye" - (The Blind Side Movie Poster Parody)

    Artist: Scott Bricher

    Page: 15

  • 4. Congressman Sexts His Weiner - "The Anthony Weiner 'No Limits' Sexting Plan" - (Ad Parody)

    Writer: Desmond Devlin

    Page: 16

  • 5. Kim Kardashian Gets Married - "Wedding Cashers" - (Wedding Crashers Movie Parody Poster)

    Artist: Mark Stutzman Writer: Matt Lassen

    Page: 17

  • 6. Charlie Sheen Self-Destructs - "Sheen Lantern" - (Green Lantern Comic Book Cover Parody)

    Writer: Kit Lively Artist: Scott Nickel Artist: Tom Richmond

    Page: 18

  • 7. Olbermann Implodes At MSNBC - The Worst Personal Choice in the World

    Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Drew Friedman

    Page: 20

  • 8. The NBA Lockout - "No Basketball Association" - (NBA Team Logo Parodies)

    Artist: Timothy Shamey

    Page: 21

  • 9. Casey Anthony Gets Off - "Casey at the Trial" - (Casey at the Bat Ernest Thayer Poem Parody)

    Artist: Frank Jacobs Artist: Ward Sutton Writer: Lance Hansen

    Page: 22

  • 10. Tiger Moms - "Study! For the Glory of Your Mother" - (Chinese Cultural Revolution Propaganda Poster Parody)

    Writer: James Grebey Artist: Juan Doe

    Page: 24

  • 11. Rex Ryan's Foor Fetish - "Footlewd" - (Footloose Movie Poster Parody)

    Artist: Scott Bricher Writer: Matt Lassen

    Page: 25

  • 12. Netflix Changes the Rules - "A message from Reed Hastings"

    Writer: Dick DeBartolo

    Page: 26

  • 13. Arnold Schtups His Housekeeper - "Crazy Stupid Gov" - (Crazy Stupid Love Movie Poster Parody)

    Artist: Richard Williams

    Page: 27

  • 14. Trump Says Obama Not American - "Birther King" - (Burger King / Trump Portrait)

    Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Roberto Parada

    Page: 28

  • 15. News Corp Hacks Phones - "Game of Phones" - (Game of Thrones TV Poster Parody)

    Writer: Jacob Lambert Artist: Mick Coulas

    Page: 30

  • 16. Michele Bachmann Speaks - "The Look of Moron" - (The Book of Mormon Broadway Play Poster Parody)

    Writer: Frank Santopadre Artist: Genevieve Sterbenz

    Page: 31

  • 17. Harold Camping - "The Day the Earth Still Stood" - (The Day the Earth Stood Still Movie Poster Parody)

    Writer: Jacob Lambert Artist: Mark Stutzman

    Page: 32

  • 18. Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark's Injuries - "The Amazingly Dangerous Spider-Play" - (The Amazing Spiderman Comic Book Parody)

    Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Ty Templeton

    Page: 33

  • 19. Herman Cain's Presidential Run - "The Pee-Wee Herman Cain Show" - (The Pee-Wee Herman Show TV Poster Parody)

    Artist: Mark Fredrickson

    Page: 36

  • 20. Derek Jeter's 3000th Hit Ball Returned - Fold-In

    Artist, Writer: Al Jaffee

    Page: 37

Advertisement For Subscriptions with MAD #154 Bonus Print

Page: 38

The Strip Club

Coombs & Coombs

Artist: Jason Coates

Page: 41

The Strip Club

Planet TAD!!!!!

Department: In Blog we Trust

Writer: Tim Carvell

Page: 42

A Mad Look At Protests

Department: Serge-In General

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés Colorist: Tom Luth

Page: 44

Advertisement for Mad Books

Page: 48

Spy vs. Spy

Department: Joke and Dagger

Artist, Writer: Peter Kuper

Page: 50

Ways to Create a Healthier McDonald's Experience

Department: Hamburger Buns of Steel

Artist, Writer: Teresa Burns Parkhurst

Page: 52

Article From #149 - Harry Grepser's New Year's Resolutions 1962-1972

Department: The Mad Vault

Writer: Frank Jacobs

Page: 54

The Mad Vault

Department: Article From #252 - One Fine Christmas in the Jungle

Artist, Writer: Don Martin

Page: 56

Drawn Out Dramas (Various Places around the Magazine)

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés