MAD Magazine #499

MAD Magazine #499 • USA • 1st Edition - New York
1st Edition - New York
April 1st, 2009
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Table of Contents

Contents Page

Page: 1

"Hybrid SUV's are like adult diapers-they don't really solve anything, but they make people feel better about the mess they're making!"

Department: Alfred E. Neuman Quotes

Page: 1

Random Samplings of Reader Mail

Department: Letters and Tomatoes

Page: 2

Mad's 2-Question Interviews: Brian Williams, Ralph Nader, Christiane Amanpour, Bob Costas, Tiki Barber, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Chris Matthews, and John Madden

Photographer, Writer: Vicki Arkoff

Page: 3

The Fundalini Pages

  • List of all contributors

    Author: Desmond Devlin Author: Drew Friedman Author: Marc Hempel Author: Kevin Pope Author: Jeff Kruse Author: Garth Gerhart Author: Sam Sisco Author: Barry Liebmann Author: Darren Johnson Author: Jason Yungbluth Author: Evan Dorkin Author: Sarah Dyer Author: Ward Sutton

    Page: 10

  • Eerie Similarities Between Abraham Lincoln and Barack Obama

  • The Fast 5 - Main Duties of Obama's New Chief Technology Officer

  • The Yungbluth & The Restless - a more complex medical procedure

  • Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Public Transportation

  • How George W. Bush Will Be Perceived by Various Americans

  • Stories Reported by TMZ That Were Later Retracted

  • Solution to Last Month's "Mini-Mystery" - pancreas with a false bottom

  • The Sublime 7 - Hillary Clinton's Priorities as Secretary of State

  • Bitterman

What the Heck is the Difference? (On MAD #213)

Department: Observation Dreck

Page: 13

Botchmen (Watchmen Parody)

Department: Moore's code

Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Tom Richmond

Page: 14

A MAD Look at Trade Schools

Department: Serge-In General

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés Colorist: Tom Luth

Page: 20

Digital TV FAQs

Department: A small-box epidemic

Writer: Jeff Kruse

Page: 23

The decided disadvantages of an online education

Department: Modem Cum Laude

Artist, Writer: John Caldwell

Page: 26

The darker side of The Lighter Side

Department: Berg's-Eye Askew

Artist, Writer: Dave Berg

Page: 28

An open letter from JP CitiChaseWaCapitalMu Bank, Inc

Department: An embarrasment of Richard's

Writer: Dick DeBartolo

Page: 31

MAD's unheroic Watchmen outtakes

Department: Please Sir, can I have some moore?

Page: 32

The story of Deathbed Donkey ...and the rage of sorrow

Department: A touch of ass

Writer: Brian McConnachie Artist: Rick Geary

Page: 34

Unabridged Sports Cliches

Department: Humor in a jock-ular vein

Artist: Paul Coker, Jr. Writer: Jacob Lambert

Page: 36

The Strip Club

  • The machine that travels through time

    Artist, Writer: Joey Alison Sayers

    Page: 39

  • The long and short of it...

    Artist, Writer: Dan Long

    Page: 40

  • The Dork side

    Artist, Writer: Scott Nickel

    Page: 40

  • Your mama's website is so ugly...

    Artist, Writer: Tony Murphy

    Page: 40

  • The legendary deliveries of Pete Zahn

    Artist, Writer: John Kovaleski

    Page: 41

  • The roommates: John, Joe and Jerry

    Artist, Writer: Todd Clark

    Page: 41

  • One lovely Easter morning

    Artist, Writer: Christopher Baldwin

    Page: 42

Spy vs. Spy

Department: Joke and Dagger

Artist, Writer: Peter Kuper

Page: 44

President Obama: The promise vs. The reality

Department: Going Barack on his word

Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Kevin Pope Artist: Leonardo Rodriguez

Page: 46

Back Cover Inside: Fold-In - A Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions snowboarding conversation

Artist, Writer: Al Jaffee