MAD Magazine #489

Contents Page

Page: 1

"When it comes to the lack of cleanliness at public urinals, it's amazing what some guys will stand for!"

Department: Alfred E. Neuman Quotes

Page: 1

Subscription Advertisement - Jeffrey Lozenge dressed as a bee

Writer: Joe Raiola Photographer: Irving Schild

Page: 1

Random Samplings of Reader Mail

Department: Letters and Tomatoes

Page: 2

The Fundalini Pages

• List of all contributors

  Author: Tom Bunk Author: Desmond Devlin Author: Peter Bagge Author: Jacob Lambert Author: Hermann Mejia Author: Kevin Pope Author: Jeff Kruse Author: Garth Gerhart Author: Glen LeLievre

  Page: 8

• Castro Comments: brutal dictatorship memorabilia

• Less Popular Conspiracy Theories

• Fundalini Asks "What If...?" - What If Barack Obama were a Zombie?

• Least-Listed Items on the Average American's "Bucket List"

• Highlights from the Pope's Visit to Yankee Stadium

• Defenses to Use When You're Sued by the Music Industry for Illegal Downloading

• The Fast 5 - Easter Candies Still Left on the Shelf

• Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Pet Care

• LeLievre and Let LeLievre - lion feeds on gazelle, hears disembodied voice

• Revelations Left Out of the Tell-All Tom Cruise Biography

• How to Tell a Terrorist from a Regular Schmoe

• Pitches Made in Hollywood Now that the Writers' Strike is Over

• Bitterman - hormone driven teenagers

What the Heck is the Difference?

Department: Observation Dreck

Page: 11

Slomantha? Who cares! (Samantha Who Parody)

Department: Milking Amnesia

Writer: Dick DeBartolo Artist: Tom Richmond

Page: 12

An AT&T Commercial We'd like to See

Department: Cell Phones

Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Drew Friedman

Page: 17

Other Kids Book Secrets Revealed Now that dumbledore has been outed

Department: Crass of Characters

Artist: Gary Hallgren Writer: Jeff Kruse

Page: 18

Hello, I'm Barack. And I'm H.C. (A MAD Ad Parody)

Department: The Apple of their Ire

Artist: Hermann Mejia

Page: 21

If different comedians told the same joke

Department: Spiking the Punchline

Writer: Harrison Greenbaum Artist: Jason Seiler

Page: 22

The Bad News Bare-Asses (A MAD Pull-Out Poster)

Department: Needles and Sins

Artist: Sam Sisco

Page: 24

Planet Tad!!!!

Department: In Blog we trust

Writer: Tim Carvell Artist: Brian Durniak

Page: 28

A MAD Look at Doctors

Department: Serge-In General

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés

Page: 30

MAD's do-it-yourself 24 Season 7 Plotline

Department: Bauer Outtage

Artist: Rick Tulka Writer: Darren Johnson Colorist: Wildstorm

Page: 34

Signs you've chosen the wrong Spring Break destination

Department: Mistake a vacation

Artist, Writer: John Caldwell

Page: 36

Spy vs. Spy

Department: Joke and Dagger

Artist, Writer: Peter Kuper

Page: 38

Monroe and... Extreme Makeover

Department: Angster's Paradise

Colorist: Ryan Flanders Writer: Anthony Barbieri Artist: Tom Fowler

Page: 39

Hello, I'm Barack. And I'm H.C. (A MAD Ad Parody)

Department: The Apple of their IRE

Artist: Hermann Mejia

Page: 43

MAD's washed-up Lost outtakes

Department: Plane Nonsense

Page: 44

Things we'll probably overhear at the upcoming Barry Bonds trial...

Department: A Poke in the Lie

Artist: Paul Coker, Jr. Writer: Jeff Kruse

Page: 46

Back Cover Inside: Fold-In - Where does everyone agree the level of patient care is deplorable?

Artist, Writer: Al Jaffee