MAD Magazine #381

Subscription Advertisement - Dan Brown dressed as a lobster

Writer: Joe Raiola Photographer: Irving Schild

Contents Page

There's no business like show business, although in terms of compassion, the Mafia comes close!

Department: Alfred E. Neuman Quote

Random samplings of reader mail

Department: Letters and Tomatoes

Page: 2

Advertisement for Super Special May 1999 #137 - Double Sided - Mad Mocks Fox TV / School Sucks

Diary of a Tomb Raider Fanatic

Department: Star Croft Lovers

Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Scott Bricher

Page: 4

How the NBA Plans to Win Back the Love of Their Former Fans

Department: Hoop Schemes

Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Keith Seidel

Page: 8

Monroe & Las Vegas – Part 1

Department: Angster’s Paradise

Artist: Bill Wray Writer: Anthony Barbieri

Page: 10

Pop Up Porno Videos

Department: Who Gives a Flying Fact

Artist: Hermann Mejia Writer: Andrew J. Schwartzberg

Page: 14

Tofu Times – The New Age Newspaper

Department: Soy Story

Artist: James Warhola Writer: Charlie Kadau Writer: Joe Raiola

Page: 17

Instant TV Reviews

Department: Hide ’N’ Critic

Writer: Russ Cooper Artist: Grey Blackwell

Page: 22

Brutally Honest Flight Attendant Announcements

Department: The Plane Truth

Artist: Tom Bunk Writer: Amy Gillett

Page: 24

Spy vs. Spy

Department: Joke and Dagger

Artist, Writer: Peter Kuper

Page: 26

Scenes from the 'Antiques Freakshow'

Department: Appraise the Thing

Artist: Bill Wray Writer: Charlie Richards

Page: 29

The Paranoid Psychotic’s Guide to Foiling Paparazzi

Department: The Clods Must Be Crazy

Artist, Writer: John Caldwell

Page: 32

Ad parody: ‘Introducing Gravel Vista Gardens’

Department: Unreal Estate

Artist: George Woodbridge Writer: Jeff Kruse

Page: 34

TV Satire: ‘Sub-Brainy The Teenage Wretch’ [‘Sabrina The Teenage Witch’]

Department: Generation Hex

Artist: Paul Coker, Jr. Writer: Dick DeBartolo

Page: 35

A Guide to Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong

Department: You’ve Got Male

Writer: Dave Croatto Artist: Rick Tulka

Page: 39

A MAD Look at Hotels

Department: Serge-In General

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés

Page: 42

MAD’s Science Fiction Primer

Department: Plan It Hollywood

Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Mort Drucker

Page: 45

Celebrity Cause-of-Death Betting Odds – Featuring Oprah Winfrey

Department: Grieving Las Vegas

Artist: Hermann Mejia Writer: Mike Snider

Page: 48

Drawn Out Dramas (Various Places around the Magazine)

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés

Back Cover Inside: What epic struggle will resume this summer but fail to live up to its predecessor?

Artist, Writer: Al Jaffee

Back Cover: Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions – Special All-Smoking Edition

Artist, Writer: Al Jaffee