MAD Magazine #459

MAD Magazine #459 • USA • 1st Edition - New York
1st Edition - New York
November 2005
AAAAHHH!!! The holiday movies are coming!
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Table of Contents

Contents Page

Page: 1

"If you repeat the same grade once, you're a dummy - if you do it 20 times, you're a teacher!"

Department: Alfred E. Neuman Quotes

Page: 1

Random Samplings of Reader Mail

Department: Letters and Tomatoes

Page: 2

The Fundalini Pages

  • List of all contributors

    Author: Tom Bunk Author: Paul Coker, Jr. Author: Dick DeBartolo Author: Drew Friedman Author: Al Jaffee Author: Ray Alma Author: Hermann Mejia Author: Rick Tulka Author: Jeff Kruse Author: Don Vaughan Author: Patrick Merrel Author: Nate Fakes Author: Jason Reich

    Page: 8

    Reprinted in: US MAD Magazine #20

  • Prescription Drug or Godzilla Foe?

  • The Puzzle Nook - "---ion is 9/10 of the law"

  • The Fast 5 - The Downsides of Being Britney & Kevin's Baby

  • Other Secrets Leaked to the Press By White House Advisor Karl Rove

  • Celebrity Reality Shows Currently Under Development

  • Corrections

  • "Forced" Laughter (Star Wars themed)

  • The Cover We Didn't Use - Harry vs. Hairy! (Potter vs. Kong)

  • Innovative Provisions of the New National Hockey League Agreement

  • Questions We Wanted to Hear in the John Roberts Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings

MAD's inside scoop in this year's Stupidest Holiday Movies

Department: Coming detractions

Artist: Desmond Devlin Artist: Tom Richmond Artist: Scott Maiko

Page: 12

Reprinted in: US MAD Magazine #20

The High-School Gentleman's Etiquette Guide for Dating Your Teacher

Department: XXX-Tra curricular activities

Writer: Dennis Snee Artist: Rick Geary

Page: 18

A MAD Look at Pizza

Department: Serge-In General

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés

Page: 20

In Blog we trust

Department: Planet Tad!!!!!

Writer: Tim Carvell Photographer: AP/Wide World Photos Artist: Brian Durniak

Page: 24

More MAD CD cover doodles

Department: Deface the music

Artist, Writer: Russ Cooper

Page: 26

7 periods closer to death: PTA meeting cancelled

Department: One for Rall and Rall for one

Artist, Writer: Ted Rall

Page: 28

Monroe and... Immigration

Department: Angster's Paradise

Artist: Bill Wray Writer: Anthony Barbieri

Page: 33

You may want to call off the 'face to Face' if...

Department: Rotten meet

Artist, Writer: John Caldwell Idea: Butch D'Ambrosio

Page: 37

MAD's all-inclusive do-it-yourself reality show press release

Department: Funny in the blank

Writer: Frank Jacobs Artist: Evan Dorkin

Page: 38

Spy vs. Spy

Department: Joke and Dagger

Artist, Writer: Peter Kuper

Page: 40

MAD's horrendous holiday movie outtakes: Get rich or die tryin', King Kong, The Ringer, Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire

Department: Deck the halls with boughs of Hollywood

Page: 42

The Strip Club

  • Father O'Flannity's Hot Tub Confessions with special guests Bert & Ernie

    Artist, Writer: Keith Knight

    Page: 45

  • I'm with stupid

    Artist, Writer: Rich Moyer

    Page: 45

  • The Educa-fun page: Gravity

    Artist, Writer: Ruben Bolling

    Page: 46

  • The Hero Santon: Maximator

    Artist, Writer: Don Asmussen

    Page: 47

  • Rob, the evil backstabbing robot temp

    Artist, Writer: Corey Pandolph

    Page: 47

  • Pondering the really meaningful stuff

    Artist, Writer: Rob Harrell

    Page: 48

C.S.OY:NY (CSI New York Parody)

Department: D.N.A.-Holes

Artist: Mort Drucker Writer: Arnie Kogen

Page: 54

Hottest Halloween costumes

Department: For your disguise only

Artist: Scott Bricher Writer: Dennis Snee

Page: 59

Back Cover Inside: Fold-In - What kind of pot have many young Americans become highly addicted to?

Artist, Writer: Al Jaffee