MAD Magazine #440 
Editorial
- Editor: John Ficarra
- Cover Artist: Mark Fredrickson
Cover Variations
Featured characters
Table of Contents
The Chia Head of State
Department: Weapons of Grass Destruction
Writer: Charlie Kadau Sculptor: Liz Lomax Artist: Timothy Shamey
Page: 5
The Fundalini Pages: "MAD's exclusive Transcript of Britney Spears' and Jason Alexander's Wedding Vows", "Monkeys are always funny", "Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to Television", Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds: Simon Cowell", "Videogame Corner", "The godfrey Report", Going to the Caldwell once too often", "Graphic Novel Review: Te-Di-Um!", "What's Pete Rose Betting on this month?", "The Martha S
Department: Random Acts of Mindless
Author: Tom Bunk Author: Paul Coker, Jr. Author: Dick DeBartolo Author: Desmond Devlin Author: Jack Syracuse Author: Gary Hallgreen Author: Scott Bricher Author: John Caldwell Author: Kevin Pope Author: P.C. Vey Author: Jeff Kruse Author: Scott Maiko Author: Garth Gerhart Author: Barry Liebmann Author: Evan Dorkin Author: Mike Snider Author: Tom Nick Cocotos Author: Carolyn Abram
Page: 8
Bored of the Rings: Rehash of the Thing (lord of the Rings: Return of the King Parody)
Department: Kicking the Hobbit
Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Hermann Mejia
Page: 12
Is your Mom's new boyfriend a Keeper... or a Loser?
Department: Choose your daddy
Artist, Writer: John Caldwell
Page: 18
Duke Bissell's Tales of Undiputed Interest
Department: The Wizard of Odd
Artist, Writer: P.C. Vey
Page: 32
MAD's Suggestions for improving American Idol
Department: Don't have a Cowell
Artist: Tom Richmond Writer: Greg Leitman
Page: 34
Monroe and... Survivor Jr. Part 3
Department: Angster's Paradise
Artist: Bill Wray Writer: Anthony Barbieri
Page: 36
MAD's Etiquette Guide to Spring Break
Department: March Manners
Writer: Butch D'Ambrosio Artist: Amanda Conner
Page: 39
MAD's simply dreadful outtakes from American Idol
Department: MAD Cowell Disease
Writer: Mike Snider
Page: 42
Joan of Archaic (Joan of Arcadia Parody)
Department: Hollywood and Divine
Artist: Mort Drucker Writer: Josh Gordon
Page: 44
