MAD Magazine #439 
Editorial
- Cover Artist: Mort Drucker
- Editor: John Ficarra
Cover Variations
Featured characters
Table of Contents
Random Samplings of Reader Mail
Department: Letters and Tomatoes
Page: 2
The Fundalini Pages: "9 questions we'd like to ask Saddam Hussein", "The cover we didn't use", "Bitterman", Celebrity cause-of-death betting odds: Jessica Simpson", "VideoGame Corner", "The Godfrey Report", Monkey are always funny", "Melvin & Jenkins' guide to winter frolic", "Oscar by the numbers", "The fast 5 - The 5 darkest secrets dicovered in Rush Limbaugh's medical records", "Gangsta Rapper
Department: Random Acts of Mindless
Author: Desmond Devlin Author: Bill Wray Author: Ray Alma Author: Jack Syracuse Author: Scott Bricher Author: Kevin Pope Author: Jeff Kruse Author: Scott Maiko Author: Garth Gerhart Author: Evan Dorkin Author: Arie Kaplan Author: Mike Snider Author: Tom Nick Cocotos
Page: 6
MasichistCommander on the farce side of the world (Master & Commander Parody)
Department: Nothing to Crowe about
Artist: Angelo Torres Writer: Arnie Kogen Colorist: Wildstorm
Page: 10
The Valet Parking Attendant's Secret Oath
Department: Road Scholars
Artist: Liz Lomax Writer: Butch D'Ambrosio
Page: 16
The Lord of the Rings - The Jewelry never ends
Department: MAD Poster
Artist: Mark Stutzman Writer: Arie Kaplan Writer: Greg Leitman
Page: 24
Monroe and... Survivor Jr. Part 2
Department: Angster's Paradise
Artist: Bill Wray Writer: Anthony Barbieri
Page: 26
MAD's down-on-the-farm the simple life outtakes!
Department: Is Paris churning?
Writer: Mike Snider
Page: 30
Rock solid indications you are too old for the Goth Lifestyle
Department: The dark aged
Artist, Writer: John Caldwell
Page: 33
Are you a member of Hollywood's D-List?
Department: A star is scorned
Artist: Drew Friedman Writer: Matthew A. Cohen
Page: 36
MAD's Oscar Preview
Department: We'd like to spank the academy
Writer: Dick DeBartolo Writer: David Shayne Writer: Barry Liebmann Writer: Mike Snider Writer: Greg Leitman Artist: Hermann Mejia
Page: 41
