MAD Magazine #438

Contents Page

Page: 1

Random Samplings of Reader Mail

Department: Letters and Tomatoes

Page: 2

The Fundalini Pages

• List of all contributors

  Author: Tom Bunk Author: Desmond Devlin Author: Drew Friedman Author: Charlie Kadau Author: Joe Raiola Author: Scott Bricher Author: John Caldwell Author: Kevin Pope Author: Scott Maiko Author: Garth Gerhart Author: Evan Dorkin Author: Arie Kaplan Author: Mike Snider Author: Butch D'Ambrosio Author: Johnny Styne Author: Josh Malinow

  Page: 6

• Celebrity Cause of Death Betting Odds - 50 Cent

• The Godfrey Report

• First... Then ... What's Next?

• Celebrity Verse - George W. Bush

• Classified Ads

• The 5 Stages of Superbowl-Office Pool Bettor Grief

• Monkeys Are Always Funny - Federal Seizure of Elian Gonzalez

• Weapons U.S. Inspectors Did Find In Iraq

• Bitterman - Three Rules of Male Bathroom Etiquette

• The Fast 5 - The 5 Most-Likely Things Michael Jackson Was Thinking While Having His Mug Shot Photo Taken

• An Internet Banner Ad You Shouldn't Click On - Apply for the new Crisco Visa Card

• Video Game Preview - Grand Theft Amish

• Sponge Bob Square Package

• A Variety Ad We'd Like to See... For Your Consideration: The Paris Hilton Sex Video

• Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to the Circus

Fools of Rock (Schools of Rock Parody)

Department: Chronic Black Pain

Writer: Dick DeBartolo Artist: Tom Richmond

Page: 10

MAD's Handy Glossary to the War on Terror

Department: Lexicon-Job

Artist: Paul Coker, Jr. Writer: Desmond Devlin

Page: 16

Monroe... Survivor Jr. Part 1

Department: Angster's Paradise

Artist: Bill Wray Writer: Anthony Barbieri

Page: 18

2003: The year in film

Department: Title Wave

Writer: Desmond Devlin Photographer: AP/Wide World Photos

Page: 22

A MAD Look at Superbowl

Department: Serge-In-General

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés

Page: 24

Spy vs. Spy

Department: Joke and Dagger

Artist, Writer: Peter Kuper

Page: 28

The mourn Identity

Department: Tales from the Duck Side

Artist, Writer: Don Edwing

Page: 30

The League of rejected Superheroes: Inebrion - The Superhero Who Can't Stay Sober

Department: Power of the Feeble

Artist: Frank Miller Colorist: Wildstorm

Page: 31

The League of rejected Superheroes: Scantily-Clad Woman

Department: Department: Power of the Feeble

Artist: J.Scott Campbell Colorist: Mat Milla

The League of rejected Superheroes: The Entomologist

Department: Department: Power of the Feeble

Artist: Dave Gibbons Colorist: Wildstorm

The League of rejected Superheroes: Mediocre Man

Department: Department: Power of the Feeble

Artist: John Byrne Colorist: Wildstorm

The League of rejected Superheroes: Sloggtor of Globbzorr

Department: Department: Power of the Feeble

Artist: John Romita Jr. Colorist: Wildstorm

The League of rejected Superheroes: Vocabulon

Department: Department: Power of the Feeble

Artist: Michael Allred Colorist: Laura Allred

The League of rejected Superheroes: Apathenia - Queen of Not Giving a Damn

Department: Department: Power of the Feeble

Artist: Arthur Adams Colorist: Wildstorm

The League of rejected Superheroes: The Incredible Infringement Man

Department: Department: Power of the Feeble

Artist: Jim Lee Colorist: Alex Sinclair

An open letter from Michael Jackson

Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Chas D'Eau

Page: 37

The Dos and Don'ts of a Super Bowl Party

Department: A word to the Guys

Artist, Writer: John Caldwell

Page: 38

Absurd, their Enthusiasm

Department: There's something about Larry

Artist: Angelo Torres Writer: Josh Gordon Colorist: Wildstorm

Page: 40

If Norman Rockwell depicted the 21st Century: "The Marriage License"

Artist: Richard Williams

Page: 44

Now Playing at the California State House: Arnold Schwarzenegger Governor

Department: A term for the worse

Writer: Mike Snider

Page: 46

Back Cover Inside: Fold-In - What stomach-turning reality show has many across the land completely disgusted?

Artist, Writer: Al Jaffee