MAD Magazine #417

Contents Page

Page: 1

"Why is it when someone's fighting to get in the last word, it's never 'sorry'?"

Department: Alfred E. Neuman Quote

Page: 1

Letters

Page: 2

Pull My Cheney - Customers who tried to steal shopping carts

Artist, Writer: Tom Cheney

Page: 3

Mad's Ecchbay Item of the Month - Paula Poundstone's Necktie

Artist: Scott Bricher Writer: Scott Maiko

Page: 6

A Booty-Full Mind

Department: Crowe Figure

Writer: Dick DeBartolo Artist: Angelo Torres

Page: 7

Unconscious Racists...

Department: Snide and Prejudice

Artist: Peter Kuper Writer: Butch D'Ambrosio

Page: 12

10 Once Loyal Baseball Fans

Department: Take me out of the Ball Game

Artist: Paul Coker, Jr. Writer: Frank Jacobs

Page: 14

Mad's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds: James Lipton

Department: Grieving Las Vegas

Artist: Hermann Mejia Writer: Mike Snider

Page: 18

Haiku Study Guides

Department: Poem Schooling

Artist: Gary Hallgren Writer: Andrew J. Schwartzberg

Page: 20

A Mad Look at Taxis

Department: Serge-In General

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés

Page: 22

Spy vs. Spy

Department: Joke and Dagger

Artist, Writer: Peter Kuper

Page: 26

The Lighter Side of...

Department: Berg's Eye View

Artist, Writer: Dave Berg Colorist: Digital Chameleon

Page: 29

Mad's Handicapping Guide to the Kentucky Derby Freak Show

Department: Parlaying it on the line

Artist, Writer: John Caldwell

Page: 34

Britney Spears' & Justin Timberlake's Family Photo Album

Department: Kin Sync

Artist: Hermann Mejia Writer: Mike Snider

Page: 37

Mad's Credit Card Bill Return Envelope

Department: The Dreck is in the Mail

Writer: Darren Johnson

Page: 42

Monroe and... Babysitting - Part Two

Department: Angster's Paradise

Artist: Bill Wray Writer: Anthony Barbieri

Page: 43

Duck Droppings - The Bible

Department: Holy Jokes!

Artist, Writer: Don Edwing

Page: 46

The Royal Paininthebums

Department: The Dysfunctional Family Circus

Artist: Tom Richmond Writer: Arnie Kogen

Page: 47

Drawn Out Dramas (Various Places around the Magazine)

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés

Back Cover Inside: Fold-In - What one group above all others is President Bush intent on protecting?

Artist, Writer: Al Jaffee

Back Cover: Advertisement