MAD Magazine #389

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Contents Page

"The reason most people talk to themselves is because they're often the only ones who will listen!"

Department: Alfred E. Neuman Quotes

Advertisement for Mad XL #1 - January 2000 - featuring Frank Jacobs's The Mad World of William M. Gaines

The Duck Stops Here

Artist, Writer: Don Edwing

Letters

The Supremos

Department: Guns 'N' Neurosis

Artist: Mort Drucker Writer: Arnie Kogen

Monroe &... Christmas

Department: Angster's Paradise

Artist: Bill Wray Writer: Anthony Barbieri

Absurd Man of Alcatraz

Department: Tales from the Duck Side

Artist, Writer: Don Edwing

The MAD 20 Dumbest People, Events and Things of...

• 1. Y2K Panic

  Artist: Tom Bunk

• 2. Hillary Clinton's World (Andrew Wyath's Christina's World painting parody)

  Artist: Richard Williams

• 3. Teen Exploitation Flicks - "Movie Title Graffiti"

  Writer: Russ Cooper

• 4. Livin' La Vida Overrated "When Other Artists Jump on the Latin Music Craze"

  Artist: Hermann Mejia

• 5. George W. Bush's Snow Job - "got coke?" (got milk? ad parody)

  Photographer: Irving Schild

• 6. Jerry Falwell Takes On Tinky-Winky - "Televangelist-Tubbies"

  Writer: Charlie Kadau Artist: Jack Syracuse

• 7. Around the Clock John F. Kennedy Jr. Crash Coverage (People magazine cover parody)

  Writer: Joe Raiola Writer: David Shayne

• 8. America's Hang Up With Cell Phones - "The Talker" - (Rodin's The Thinker parody)

• 9. Sega Introduces the Dreamcast - "Buy 'R' Toys" - (Toys 'R' Us ad parody)

  Artist: Scott Bricher Writer: Scott Maiko

• 10. The Umpires Strike Out - "Taken Out of the Ball Game" - (Take Me Out to the Ball Game song parody)

  Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Keith Seidel

• 11. The Blair Witch Project - "Eerie Comparisons Between The Wizard of Oz and The Blair Witch Project"

  Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Sam Sisco

• 12. Monica Tells All - "Phrases That We Knew Would Never Appear in Monica Lewinski's Autobiography"

  Photographer: Irving Schild Writer: Jeff Kruse

• 13. Woodstock '99 - "3 Days of Pricey Mayhem" - (3 Days of Peace & Music poster parody)

  Writer: Scott Maiko

• 14. Stock Market Frenzy - "A Typical Investment Ad For Suckers (Like You!)"

  Writer: Dick DeBartolo Writer: Jim Johnstone Artist: George Woodbridge

• 15. Beanie Babies Call It Quits... Yeah, Right! - "The Telltale Signs of Post-Beanie Syndrome"

  Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Lisa Haney

• 16. Random Acts of Senseless Violence - "A Bumper Sticker We're Sure to See"

  Photographer: Irving Schild Writer: Michael Gallagher

• 17. Tae-Bo Fitness For Fools - "Tie-Blo" (ad parody)

  Photographer: Irving Schild Writer: Mike Snider

• 18. List-O-Mania! - "12 Stupid Lists You May Have Missed"

  Writer: Tom Stern

• 19. Pamela Anderson's Breast Implants - Fold-In

  Artist, Writer: Al Jaffee

• 20. Jar-Jar Binks - "A Movie Poster We'd All Like to See"

  Artist: Roberto Parada

The Sick Sense

Department: Dead Man Working

Writer: Dick DeBartolo Artist: Angelo Torres

A Mad Look at Parking

Department: Serge-In General

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés

Melvin & Jenkins' Guide to the Millennium

Department: The Schmuck Stops Here

Writer: Desmond Devlin Artist: Kevin Pope

Spy vs. Spy

Department: Joke and Dagger

Artist, Writer: Peter Kuper

Mad's 1999 Political Christmas Carols

Department: Oh Little Town of Washington

Artist: Paul Coker, Jr. Writer: Frank Jacobs

Mad's Celebrity Cause-Of-Death Betting Odds: Conan O'Brien

Department: Grieving Las Vegas

Artist: Hermann Mejia Writer: Mike Snider

Drawn Out Dramas (Various Places around the Magazine)

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés

Back Cover Inside: What ball are many people anxiously waiting to see finally drop?

Artist, Writer: Al Jaffee

Back Cover: A Monumental Disaster

Writer: Frank Jacobs Artist: Mark Stutzman