MAD Magazine #316

Cover: Alfred's Face On Pumpkin

Photographer: Irving Schild Sculptor: Hugh McMahon

Real ad Mad Subscription Pitch

Table of Contents

Advertisement for Christie's Auction of Original Mad Art

Random Sampling of Reader Mail

Department: Letters and Tomatoes

Advertisement for the MAD Prehysterical 1993 Calendar

Sister Axed

Department: A Bad Case Of The Nuns

Artist: Mort Drucker Writer: Stan Hart

The Cretinous Cook's Concoction

Department: Tales From The Duck Side Part 1

Artist, Writer: Don Edwing

The Differences Between The 80's and The 90's

Department: Cutting The Decade

Artist, Writer: John Caldwell

Spy Vs. Spy (Pogo Stick)

Department: Joke and Dagger

Artist, Writer: Antonio Prohias

Greeting Cards That Keep Up With The Times

Department: Frank On a Roll

Artist: Paul Coker, Jr. Writer: Frank Jacobs

Words of Warning That Your Life Is Not Going So Well

Department: The Hinter Of Our Discontent

Artist: Jack Davis Writer: Mike Snider

MAD's Instant TV Reviews

Department: Hide 'N' Critique

Writer: Russ Cooper Artist: Rick Tulka

The Wacky Washroom Whizbang

Department: Tales From The Duck Side Part 2

Artist, Writer: Don Edwing

MAD's Avalanche O'Catalogs

Department: Circular Jerks

Artist: George Woodbridge Writer: Charlie Kadau Writer: Joe Raiola

Mix 'N' Match Donahue / Oprah / Geraldo / Maury / Sally Jessy / Jane Guest & Topic Generator

Department: The Stuff That Themes Are Made Of

Writer: John Caldwell Artist: Gerry Gersten

The Proverbs Guaranteed To Leave 'Em Speechless

Department: Words To Glib By

Artist: Al Jaffee Writer: Tom Koch

The Lighter Side Of...

Department: Berg's-Eye View

Artist, Writer: Dave Berg

The Volatile Vegetable Vignette

Department: Tales From The Duck Side Part 3

Artist, Writer: Don Edwing

More Customer Satisfaction Surveys We'd Really Like To See

Department: Putting On The Old Feedback

Artist: George Woodbridge Writer: Cary Pepper

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Rejects

Department: Getting Out The Float

Artist, Writer: Paul Peter Porges

Commemorative Stamps We'd Like To See (But Never Will)

Department: Philately Will Get You Nowhere

Writer: Frank Jacobs Artist: Bob Clarke

A Mad Look At Tattoos

Department: Serge-In General

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés

PatrIdiotic Games

Department: When Irish Spies Are Smiling

Writer: Dick DeBartolo Artist: Angelo Torres

The MAD Living Will

Department: One Footnote In The Grave

Writer: John Prete

Drawn Out Dramas (Various Places around the Magazine)

Artist, Writer: Sergio Aragonés

Back Cover Inside: Mad Fold-In With The Demise of The Soviet Fleet, What Appears To Be Our Navy Hotshots' Latest Target

Artist, Writer: Al Jaffee

Back Cover: Sasssy Magazine

Writer: Charlie Kadau Writer: Joe Raiola Photographer: Jaques Chenet