MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineSaturday, March 25th, 2017 at 6:23am

Blanks for Nothing Dept.

There were many caption submissions this week for Tom Cheney’s uncaptioned trumpet cartoon, but there could only be one winner (and “winner” in this situation is really stretching the definition of the word...)...

Paula Degerness Grassing Oh My Gotch! I'm honoured. 😃😭 Thank You!!!!!
Jack Myhervold Colorized version just for fun. Congrat's to Paula Degerness Grassing!.
Lou Krosskove That is really funny. I was tongue tied trying figure one out.
George Gandy Lol, knew this one would win.
Tim Collins "OK then....., maybe we try the harmonica instead"!
Roy Phillips Nailed irt!
Keith Oakes Brilliant!
Mark Bailey Great caption...
Travis Holland 🥇🏆
Marks Jones Very good! =D
Melanie Malic Lol good job Paula Degerness Grassing
Terry Knox John W. Allen
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineSaturday, March 25th, 2017 at 4:08am

Classic MAD Dept.

From MAD #534, April 2017
Writer: Kenny Keil
Artist: Justin Peterson

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Robert Dixon they did do cowboys, if only for a couple sodes. I feel very nerdy knowing this.
Brad Watson II I love power rangers: hhwtcy......though the second season was pretty bad
Vincent Allen Mad doing a Trump joke despite not needing to do so? NEVER HEARD OF THAT
Piet de Vries Granted, Donald IS repulsive, but I doubt he could ever replace Rita Repulsa as the Shows main villain..
Zach McElwain Power Rangers Jury Duty is very underrated.
Drew Gould They suck so bad it's funny!
Dan Hogan Keegan
Paul Riches Jack Samson
Terry Knox John W. Allen
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineFriday, March 24th, 2017 at 6:59am

Healthcareless Dept.

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James Brayton Funny, 20 million opted out of Obamacare because they couldn't afford the affordable Healthcare. Those are the same that they are speaking of that don't actually have insurance now, but pay the tax fine.
Geoffrey Giles Travel overseas now, while you still can. Trump will have every country in the world demanding visas in advance of Americans visiting, probably within a year. Just watch.
Daso Gianou Still potatoes 🥔 following the Mad page? Try harder, Mad!
Alvin Nicholson Trump VOTERS - POOR & Working - ELDERLY * WAKE UP * - Trump & His GOP are DESTROYING OUR Social Programs in his BUDGET & Attacking OUR HEALTHCARE.. * They ONLY Care about the RICH * ** 2018 VOTE THE REPUBLICANS OUT ** Call your Congress at 202- 224-3121 - to Just FIX the ACA
Bill Anzik ROFL! !! Let me catch my breath... the Congressional Budget Office... LOL! Like they are right EVER! Good one, MAD!
Blake Messinger
Sal Sciacchitano Who needs "MAD Magazine" anymore? All we need to do to see insanity is tune into the national news!
Bill Coonley So far, it feels like "The Art of the Ordeal" to me.
John Jornov After trump selling this abomination, they lost votes
Jill DeYoe this is how you make america great?
Johan Wejedal shouldn't it be called the Don T. care? :P
Melanie Graham Fake news
Daniel Roberts I have seen better. #makemadgreatagain #sad
Martin E. Baeza sad
Molly Church What a buffoon
Robert Larsen Get some!
Drew Gould DonTCare.
Jennifer CuIbertson TryanCare
Mark Saksa
Tyler Marmet
George Fritcher
Terry Knox John W. Allen
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineFriday, March 24th, 2017 at 3:56am

Unclean Bill of Health Dept.

Writer: Evan Waite

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Jerm Tzu I'm surprised there aren't more republican snowflakes trolling this post. Maybe it's because they are too busy waiting in line for their welfare checks.
Andrew Davis Republicans talk a lot about giving people freedom and choice when it comes to health care. But you cannot truly be free if you can't afford health care or medicine. You can’t be free if you can’t afford to live.
James Smith If you have a pre-existing condition, you now have the American Freedom to die from it.
Alí Kane Cierto, al parecer Trump es el payaso del circo y todos excepto él sabemos de eso, abrazos desde México City. los leo desde niño, sigan así MAD !!
Geoffrey Giles Travel overseas now, while you still can. This idiot will have every country in the world demanding visas in advance of Americans visiting, within a year. Just watch.
Gary Schroeder I think that's the actual list they are voting on today!!! hahahahahaa, waaaaaaaa, Prozac Prozac Prozac, will be the American new daily supplement.....
Lee Phillippi If you like your cancer, you can keep your cancer.
Michael Fitzgibbons As always, Mad the shining beacon of truth and dead on humor. "What, me worry!"
Terri Pennington That picture is terrifying! I thought him as a President was scary! Eeeeeeeekkkkkkk, this is even worse.
Sean Andrews Rebecca Classen You are like Trumo in so many ways (especially no.2)
Teresa Matulewski Phipps When lying, treasonous orange puppets end up in jail, all prostate exams will be done in the shower by Dr. Jimbo . . .
Rich La Bonte ALL doctors have Fox News on their waiting room TVs now, so at least one thing won't change...
John Butcher More uninformed idiots. I guess it's easier for you people to bash things you don't understand rather than actually learn the truth. Some of your comments in here are so far past the point of ridiculous that it makes me question your mental stability.
Diane Rettger Hits the nail on the head!
Justin Beauchamp Rh Dalal want me to examine your breasts to make sure you have no cancer? :3
Mary Virginia Smith Green This is something he definitely would just decree as the final word!!
Alexander David Lee "President Trump will personally administer all breast examinations" HAHAHAHAHAHA
Burtman Mcburt As opposed to Obama care • death for everyone. Let God sort them out.
Josue Naranjo Mad at it's best!
Marcos Lopez
Linda Geving Anderson Great ! Funny ! Just about true too!😄
Milton M Ong He will be chief of gynecologist.
David Moynihan Always funny.
Melanie Graham Bleeecccchhh
Brian John Pietrusinski He will also be your personal gynecologist.
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineThursday, March 23rd, 2017 at 3:37am

Panel Surfing Dept.

From MAD #544, April 2017
Writer and Artist: Drew Panckeri

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Max Beilstein That is disgusting! But it's a dark reminder that we will all meet death at sometime. You just got to know Jesus Christ when it happens.
Pat Alder THAT was the funniest cartoon I've seen a while...
Scotty Bowman Ya got to understandstand, what me worry.
Matt Tucci It would be her Husband or parents. Grim Reaper collects evil souls.
Matthew Jones You know that'll eventually be every millennial. Just add "LIke, ok, but just, like, one more."
Lee Phillippi She's covered by the Republican Insurance Plan(RIP).
Kalinka Hokamp he he heeeeee :D is a cartoonist who also made DEATH on of his recurring cartoon heroes. Some get translated to English - so here's the latest death cartoon from the English page Ruthe Cartoons
Arnaldo De León Chávez "Rosebud!"
Victor Garcia OMG, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU POSTED THIS!!!!!!! Meridian McKenzie, Laura Vega, Steven Espinosa, Mark Horowitz, Mark Caballero,
Patrick McMeen Anxiously waiting to see how this can be spun into an anti-Trump comment!
Matthew Pirnazar Awww. This is sweet and sad.
Carl Christensen The new Repug health plan.....
Brad Miller uff dah
Hilson Mergulhão Breckenfeld Filho
Christian Oliver Mad is The Newyorker now?
Lee Bayliss Courtesy of Trump
Romeo Villareal Selfie b4 leaving the earth
Gary Weiss Mitchell Langsam
Denis Thaddeus Wenche Irene Berentsen
Loic Grandgirard Junaid Naseer
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineWednesday, March 22nd, 2017 at 8:03am

Antisocial Media Dept.

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Kevin Barr You need more spelling mistakes to make it sound genuine...
Michael Keft I heard he jumps out of bed at 3:00am to tweet garbage like this...I get up at 3:00 am to pee..
Pat Alder You notice it took the FBI no time at all to locate Brady's jersey, but cannot locate the Trump leak source?
James G Phillips A delusional wingnut friend of mine sent me a right wingnut meme the other day about not trusting the media when he got the news.
Greg Cox It's better than real, it's MAD!
Joe Delarosa
Wanda L. Manning HE'S SAD!!
Terry Knox John W. Allen
Ron Potter Sara Bishop
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineWednesday, March 22nd, 2017 at 4:36am

Federal Bureau of Abomination Dept.

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Dale Scott Aylesworth
Dale Scott Aylesworth
Andrew Saunders James Comey will be president. This is straight from the Yojimbo/Fist Full Of Dollars playbook.
Mike Visty
Dale Scott Aylesworth
Bob Pollard
Matt Page Excellent as always, MAD.
Drew Gould
Norris Crider
Terry Knox John W. Allen
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineTuesday, March 21st, 2017 at 6:40am

Blanks for Nothing Dept.

In the Comments section, tell us what you think the boy is saying in the captionless Tom Cheney cartoon below — and on Friday, we’ll announce the “winner!” Shame has never been so...

Paula Degerness Grassing "Next song, a little more Louis Armstrong, a little less Gene Simmons."
Matt Cohen Before I take you to the emergency room, let's use this to clarify the difference once and for all: Your playing sucks FIGURATIVELY, but your trumpet sucks LITERALLY.
Daniel Worley I don't care what you call it, doing that still doesn't make it a French horn.
Jane Chesterman Dad said I can play percussion instead but it has to be 'an informed choice' so I'll need to hear this swing piece since he's paying you by the hour.
Jerry Fletcher "I'm sorry, the whole show is going out of business, but your elephant impersonation was most impressive!"
Jerry Fletcher "While your interpretation was quite stirring, Donald, we at the NSO feel your talents should be showcased in a Marching Band."
Gomer Neva Base "I still don't understand how playing my trumpet is helping you play with mom better. She doesn't even have an instrument."
Myles Smiley Again, you're not Sean Spicer and it's a trumpet not a Trump.
Roy Phillips You know, till now I didn't think anyone could blow and suck at the same time.
Allen Polston Brilliant Dad, you just blew it...
Nikker Fu Something something Trump is Hitler something something. There you go MAD. I just did all your hard work for you. Where is my check?
Joe Dunmire I'm sorry,Mr. Trump. No matter how much you toot your own horn, it's not playing well.
James Zack "Thanks for showing me dad, but I don't think that's how I am supposed to play this thing."
Jerry Fletcher "I'm not sure you're right for my daughter's 3rd birthday party. Can you juggle?"
Sean McCallum Let's try something not played "bagnato" for a change.
Jim Junk Maybe Coltrane is out of you league. Maybe start off with some Bieber?
Lonnie Lane "Now you can give yourself a hummer and a rimmy at the same time."
John Prokop I think you should work on improving your triple-tonguing...
Joseph Ippolito When I said you gotta' put a little more of yourself into your playing I didn't mean this much.
Bryce J. Parsons I know it's rock, but that's not what I meant when I said "hot licks..."
Alan Edstrom Nice try, but that's why "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" wasn't written for trumpet ...
Travis Holland Dad, you'll never be able to get in the marching band
John Castillo Compensating for them little hands, huh?
Ed Kanterman No, Dad. The technique's called "triple tongue" not "stick a tongue."
Philip Sambuco We are going to need a plunger, another one got stuck!
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineTuesday, March 21st, 2017 at 3:36am

Hairy Tale Dept.

From MAD #545, June 2017
Writer: Christian Alsis
Artist: Alejandro Rivas

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Lee Phillippi Similarities between Trump and a meth addict: * Can't complete a sentence or thought * Paranoid * Irrational * Irritable * Delusional * Heavy sweating * Busts of energy followed by lackluster lulls * Sleepless nights tweeting * Sleepless nights tweaking
Elizabeth Ann Sorry, MAD blew it! The Beast is redeemed by the end of the movie.
Myles Peter ...but underneath it all he's the good guy, right?
Dale Scott Aylesworth Except I'm not sure who's the beast... Kellyanne or Trump!😂~Doc~
Loyd Guido Oh man imagine the one you could have made for Hillary if she could have stole the election. Piss off.
Louisa Herman Don't forget disproportionately tiny hands: Trump-yes, Beast-no.
James G Phillips Trump thought she was Taco Belle and made her run to the border.
Kathy Markward Esmond My son-in-law...a published author!
Michael Rainey This is awesome.
Alan Edstrom But where's the "gay moment" in Trump's version?
Agnes Gooch Haha, brilliant!
Marvin A Gadbaw Been waiting for my Mad ordered it months ago.
Ben Maher So great!
Ramiro Cubik Pulido Yayy Hairy Tale time!! Yayyy!!! .........
Christopher Florence Donald Trump...Satan's helper
Vicki Schuster Love the good, creative art work!
Daphne Rice MAD Magazine: you never disappoint!
John Kensil This is great If you read it
Logan Hill That Steve Bannon clock is too much
David Williamson 5 is wrong his one true love is money
Dale Scott Aylesworth
Dale Scott Aylesworth
Dale Scott Aylesworth
Dale Scott Aylesworth
Jack Myhervold New generation Mad artists are up there with the past giants.
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineSaturday, March 18th, 2017 at 9:03am

A View to a Shill Dept.

With a two- or three-year subscription to MAD, you'll get a FREE copy of "Inside MAD" — 256 pages of classic MAD stupidity: classic covers, movie satires,...

Steve Morris I've been doing the maximum 5 year subscription for the past 35 years and only received free postage (Cheap!).
Matthew Pirnazar You know you're old when you've seen the old content when it was fresh.
Jason Kerley I subscribed in February, but still haven't received my dose of stupid yet. :(
Cleyton Arghiropol Resist Maturity! The best copy in advertising for a long time!
Jeannie Schonta I'd love but One-I already have a three-year subscription (Unfortunately!!)and Two-I already have a copy of "Inside MAD"! (Ooh! Double Whammy!!)
Rob Kevin Belfield Already have mine
Chris Kayser How much is a two year subscription?
Jason Jacques Can you deliver to the UK?
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineSaturday, March 18th, 2017 at 6:27am

Blanks for Nothing Dept.

There were many caption submissions this week for Duck Edwing’s uncaptioned slob cartoon, but there could only be one winner (and “winner” in this situation is really stretching the definition of the word...)...

Graham Hick Thank you, thank you everyone. First of all I'd like to thank MAD Magazine for giving me this honor. Second, my friends and family who have always supported me and laughed at my stupid jokes. Third I'd like to thank...
Greg Cox I guess mine was too sophisticated for the folks at MAD 😡 Congrats Graham. I think you were given preference because your name has ham in it.
Jim Junk My suggestion was the second part of this. Not bad. Half credit? 😉
Bill Coonley Congratulations! You may have a future in Mad Magazine, and I mean that in the best possible way.
Jack Myhervold Colorized version for fun. Congrat's to Graham Hick.
Travis Holland I missed it...I probably could've come up with a gem
Matthew Pirnazar Good pick!
Mark Bailey A very worthy winner
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineSaturday, March 18th, 2017 at 4:16am

Schmuck of the Irish Dept.

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Letitia Roddy there was no "famine" in Ireland, it was a blight on the potatoes, and the British government refusing to allow the Irish any of the produce that they cultivated on the farms that were owned by absentee British landlords. It was all sold to other countries while the Irish were left starving. and yes, it is too soon to make fun of genocide
Peter Reilly Say it with me ... it's a tire , it's a tire , its a tire , it s a tire , it's SATIRE! Do not in any way shape or form use Mad for education or inspiration or contemplation ... but may be used in the case of constipation .
Ryan Pat or if a drunk wants you come to his "island"...don't assume he's rich and has an island. Mc's think "Ireland" is theirs lol
Edward Farnum I remember when MAD used to be funny! I'm cancelling my subscription! How come MAD never makes fun of All Saints' Day?
James G Phillips Up to the lips and over the gums. Watch out stomach, here it comes. 🍀
Doug Litten People taking MAD magazine seriously. You've got to be kidding.
James Boyd 1 eating a bag of skittles at the beginning of the day garuntees you'll 'Taste the Rainbow'
Jeannie Schonta The White Spy is part Irish. He told me so!!
Simone Tully Those bullet points ... try ☘️
Joe Delarosa
Luigi Durante
Davi Fonseca "how do you mess up growing potatos for crying out loud!?!?!"
Patricia Lawrence Kirby Great!!
Ryan Hughes Theresa Cornish lol do's and don'ts!
Terry Knox John W. Allen Jerica Perdue
Yasser Shamsher Sean McSorley Trish Bellhouse
Karen Diamond Miriam Jones
Charles Stockstill Shamara
Tim Diaz Gideon Cauffman
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineSaturday, March 18th, 2017 at 2:56am

Joke and Dagger Dept.

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Alex Gruenenfelder A... GREEN spy?! What has the world come to???
Marks Jones Mad got me through some rough times...
Gabriela Breitenbach wie schön! spion und spion!
Beverley Ann Franco MAD Magazine always had me laughing away.
Nathan Romberg B Y P R O H I A S (nice morse code)!
Francisco Bastos the editors have stopped publishing Mad in Brazil
Scotty Bowman Kept me up at night reading.
Terry Knox John W. Allen
Mayo Rascom Tala Abdulhadi
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineFriday, March 17th, 2017 at 4:02am

Homeland Insecurity Dept.

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Claudia Stall We'll be lucky if they don't just remove the statue altogether. After all, she has an outdated message that no one believes anymore.
Harold Humerickhouse The Tramp administration is now notorious more for its losses now than it's success and progress. This doesn't surprise me.
Chase Roush That's cool. We'll just send the terrorists to Mad's offices. All I'm hearing is, "we want our guns taken away and our daughters raped by barbarians."
Ed Moellendick The courts will do everything in their power to keep us free.
Dom Citrullo I started reading Mad in 1963, used to be satire, in the jugular vein.
Thomas Needham Sorry although I do have a sense of humor it wasn't the Statue of Liberty that vandelized the pic
Unpresidented He's a bad (or sick) guy!
Leonard Terango
Brad Watson II trump cant help he keeps winning
Mils Snikcip We going to win eventually and I can't wait to stand on the back of ur neck
Brad Miller trump cant buy judges oh no
Romeo Villareal Your're illigal entry, we have to arrest you!
Jerry Fletcher Can't wait for 2020! Let's polish our KICKING BOOTS!
Bryan Douglas Deal well, maybe the judge likes Jihad muzzrats sneaking in to the U.S.
Ernie Rivera STICK IT TO TRUMPY*&%#@!@#.
Denyse Fritzsching #DonTheConTrump spread the brand he deserves
Gary Towner Complete lack of respect!
Jill DeYoe Bravo, MAD!
George Alexander Martinez What more can be said?
Mark Falada
Kyle Menyhert This is once again relevant.
Chris Goulet Article 2 of the constitution says otherwise 🖕🇺🇸😒
Louis Phrasany 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Tricia Vickers Simone Pertuit 😅
Beth Meservey McCoy Jen Heller Meservey
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineThursday, March 16th, 2017 at 7:00am

MAD Reveals Rachel Maddow's Tax Returns!

Andre Reichenbacher Bill Gaines spins in his grave ever faster and faster.
Markel Tumlin Trump probably leaked that old form himself to distract you from the fact that he is Putin's sex slave.
Michael Zaitz Geez, what is this MAD Magazine -- perfunctory hit of the left just so you can say you've made a couple? Lame.
Nico Bryant Don't let them distract you with Trump 2 page tax returns...Let's stay vital with wanting to know his ties with Russia!! This is 2017,those were 2005,12yrs ago..Stay woke!!!
Harvey Garrett Rachel Maddow last night invented semi-fake news. It sort of was what was advertised, but not quite. I guess saying "tonight we have 2 pages of a hundreds of page tax return with no details at all' would not have drawn any viewers.
Pittman Warren Right on time, as promised. You would never make it in politics.
Nicholas Henson Boo hoo hoo, get over it. Mad is a nonpartisan humor magazine. They will goof on anybody.
Mark Seghers Trump "leaked" a little piece that wasn't so bad. Maddow played right into it.
Luka Moses Reinhardt "Boss, There's only one tax return that shows little corruption. It's 2005." "OK, Release that one."
Mary Oxendale Spensley I was disappointed. Rachel is made of better stuff than what we saw last night. Thanks Mad for helping to point this out.
John Tucker Rachel Maddow made a laughing stock of himself.
David Miller Rachel maddow's jump the shark moment, sad.
Ed Norris Found in Capone's safe?
James Hurley Agent Orange sucks
Ian Feuerhake I'd rather see Al Sharpton's
Keith Moran It was lame. Actually made Rump appear successful.
Anthony River Yeah maddow really screwed himself with that one
Dino Spumoni You're both lame
Joel Halvorson GO GET HER, MAD!
Brian Galligan Putin leaked it
Jim Junk I see what you did there
James G Phillips Its a very slow tax return leak. More like a tax return drip.
Lou Ann Simchak Really disappointed!!!!
Susie Kroeger I'll admit, I was expecting more.
Laura Allgeier Lame!!
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineThursday, March 16th, 2017 at 4:20am

BREAKING: MAD has Rachel Maddow's tax returns!

Dale Scott Aylesworth She's got nothing to hide, Stanford grad. Rode scholar ,worked hard all her life, is an activist and humanitarian. What can Trump say. billionaire CHEAP!
Jack Myhervold I can hope Mad is actually going after how ridiculous Maddow's nothing burger Trump tax report was, but their next posting will probably turn it into a Trump slam anyway. We'll see. Credit for a little balance today.
Eric Magro The difference between 45 and Rachel is Rachel is probably laughing her butt off at this post. SHE has a sense of humor.
Nicholas Brannick The only thing I care less about than Donald Trump's tax returns is any word uttered by Rachel Maddow. If I wanted self-righteousness and sanctimony from somebody with low ratings I'd get them from a televangelist. At least they're entertaining.
Alvin Nicholson The REAL Reason Trumps 2005 tax return IS Important = He wants to Eliminate the ATM - So he ONLY pays % 5 or Less in Taxes
Kevin Douglas For the last eight years she's probably paid no taxes. Just like her bosses at NBC.
Joyce Genari Hey, your piece - How Trump stacks up to other presidents - in your latest issue rocks. Kudos.
Andrew Davis How much did she spend on male hormone injections and were they tax deductible?
James G Phillips Seriously! She needs a raise. Maybe we can put her in an elevator.
Tom Revay Finally. A news source I can trust.
Patrick McMeen ARRRRRGGGGGGGG......... But the orange cheeto trumpledrumphstilskin nazi hitler russian....... ARRRRRGGGGGGGG!
Al Jollimore Is it going to be two useless pages from 11 years ago too.....
Robert Murphy
Jill DeYoe new york times has a better report on this tax leak
Michael Dermot O'Brien I just felt a frisson of excitement up my spine.
John Laurich Mad needs to fire it's Republican writers & staff
Michael Knox
Elmer Costabile Herr Gropenfuhrer leaked his tax returns.
John Laurich Trump wants the headlines, but what about people who were actually attacked this week?
Derik Hinojos Chad Rudd
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineWednesday, March 15th, 2017 at 12:00am

We’re off to See the Blizzard Dept.

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Edward Farnum I remember when MAD used to be funny! I'm cancelling my subscription! How come you never make fun of other cities' weather?
Jeremy Drysdale Where's Al Gore? Buried under all that snow, I suppose? That's what you call an inconvenient truth 😂❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️
Piet de Vries A Blizzard? What, me worry?
Adrianna De Vega Looking good Alfred!
Richmond Aulisio Doesn't Alfred cause yellow snow?
Scott Siegel A snownewman!
Alan Edstrom You call that snow?
Mony K Williams That's a Canada Goose coat!
Chet Tucker What. Is it snowing there?
Eric Dolby Best I can do.
Anthony Bugster Yarus Climate natural.
Juan Lopez David Simpson
Vincent Farquhar Glenn Williams
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineTuesday, March 14th, 2017 at 8:32am

Blanks for Nothing Dept.

In the Comments section, tell us what you think the slob is saying in the captionless Duck Edwing cartoon below — and on Friday, we’ll announce the “winner!” Shame has never been so...

Brian Neises This needs a little salt and by the way,: pigs can't handle their liquor. never call me a pig again. These guys are pigs! they are called pigs for a reason. I haven't seen them this blasted since Trumpcare rolled out!
Graham Hick Disgusting! I can't eat this! There's a hair in it!
Bill Lickfield If I knew we had company, I would have put on a clean shirt!
Brett Shearer It's Al Jaffee's 96th birthday, the guy can throw a party can't he!?
Glen Shoemark They don't like your sweet and sour pork!
Adrianna De Vega What is this slop, it's indigestible!
Philip Sambuco "We just heard. You renewed the Mad magazine subscription!!!
Bob Mixey "Y'know, I promised to spoil you rotten..."
Paula Degerness Grassing "Slap a little more kale on this, I'm trying to eat clean."
Greg Loescher "Mildred, I want slop, not your awful soup! Even the pigs hate it!"
Jerry Fletcher "Kelly Anne, it's cookin' like this that'll make America great agin'!"
Dennis Moore The pigs are puking, the maggots are gagging .. go see if it can choke the horse.
Bil Henson Perhaps you shouldn't have referred to it as cannibalism.
Jacob Arnold-Martindale "Oh, so when the pigs roll in mud, it's okay, but when I don't shower for a month it's considered gross?"
Jerry Fletcher "Ya know, Baby, there ain't nuthin' like a meal cooked at home."
Jerry Fletcher "I can't believe we lost the White House, Ms. Conway".
Mike Wallace How long did you say your family is going to be here?
Albert Barton This Duck is awful. That was an observation, not a caption, btw.
Jerry Fletcher "KellyAnne, are you sure studying HeeHaw will get me in touch with the Real America?"
Jerry Fletcher "Kelly Anne, what say we let the chef make us dinner tomorrow night?"
Jerry Fletcher "Hey Babycakes! Got anymo' o'that 'Putin's Best' pickle mix?"
Keith Keller Make America great again! What more could you ask for all ready?
Scott Brant sweetheart, this meal seems to be slightly undercooked
John Pelham You put white wine in the boeuf bourguignon again didn't you!?
Ben Sanczel "Well if the pigs can't keep it down, what luck do I have?"
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineTuesday, March 14th, 2017 at 6:52am
Jeannie Schonta MAD's Alfred E Neuman is chugging gallons of water getting ready to "write" a message to the world in the snow!
Leslie Martin Oh goody, we usually get this weather week to 10 days later here in the UK. Just as the apple blossom comes out. *sigh*
Terrence Bass Pizza Rat? easy-pasy. Wall St. Bull - having that fitting done in public? At these temps? My Deepest sympathy Mr. Bull....
Daniel Lindy these read like a letterman top 10. in a good way.
Chet Tucker What's a Pizza Rat? There's a Naked Cowboy in Times Square?!?!
Kelly Sutton Got the pizza part right
Richmond Aulisio Pizza Rat is like Jesus.
Timothy Gill Scrotum cozy's are so hot right now
Scott Phillips Love MAD Magazine!
Terry Knox John W. Allen Jerica Perdue
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineSaturday, March 11th, 2017 at 7:43am

Blanks for Nothing Dept.

There were many caption submissions this week for Duck Edwing’s uncaptioned tennis cartoon, but there could only be one winner (and “winner” in this situation is really stretching the definition of the word...)...

Cal Bledsoe I read over a dozen submissions that I thought were more fitting
Justin Gracie Mine were way funnier
Richard Bucher Sometimes the simple ones are the best.
Richard Dearnley I feel violated...
Sam DeMetro This is rigged!
Mohd Sufian
Costanzo De Finis Dudu Eduardo Vissotto Gartenkraut
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineSaturday, March 11th, 2017 at 5:39am

Ape is Enough Dept.

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Roy Phillips RE: The comparison between the Thing That Oozed Into the White House and any self-respecting ape; apes at least have self-respect. Well, that and they are far more civilized.
Zach McElwain Hey, hey! It wasn't made for a Six Flags Ride! It was made for a Universal ride. C'mon, guys, pay attention to copyrights.
Jerry Fletcher In all fairness, I think we should "cut some slack" for the new President, given that he must be living with a severe mental disorder. He must have episodes when he forgets his medication or refuses to take it. I mean, seriously! What OTHER explanation can there be for his behavior? He is apparently delusional, can't tell fantasy from reality, and could be bi-polar, as well. Perhaps he "hears voices" when he runs out of meds. Of course, congress should try to understand his condition and not act on his insane suggestions. Perhaps the Surgeon General should pay him a visit. The President should have a psychiatrist on staff at the White House to assist him at all times. This is America, and we should not allow someone's disability to disqualify him from working. His misinformed opinions should do that.
Ryan Hughes If they want a break from a simian destroying everything it sees, why wud they watch a movie about a simian that destroys everything it sees? U chuckleheads
Bryan Dicus this whole kong thing doesn't make sense. if it were real kong could easily die from the gunfire from an uzi
Tiago Rabelo The White Ape... Living in Washington D.C. ( Greetings From Brazil )
Scott Brant The biggest movie ever made! (besides the previous KingKong)
Eric Sterling I feel bad for the actual Cheetos snack food. It doesn't deserve such a bad name.
Bob Pollard Here come the Defenders of Cheeto the Clown in 3...2...1...
Zeyd Kanti Jordan Carmichael i think you're the 2nd to last one on the list
Barry Walker "........wet monkey" ROTFLMFAO!
Jacqueline Sánchez Mira Pepe Camarena Granados 😪 yo soy la opcion que faltoo jajaja
Darrel Trout Oh that last bullet point!
Tamara Wilson Me
Diddy Kong Not me, for sure!
Diego S. Mendoza Jonathan Bermeo Daniel Vega Gio Vega even more reasons to see it
Juan Ito Heredia Joseph Cruz
Terry Knox John W. Allen
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineFriday, March 10th, 2017 at 5:15am

Ryancareless Dept.

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Michael Harwood If you work for a living you pay federal and state income taxes, SSI and Medicare. There is no reason why we the working people of this country shouldn't have single payer healthcare. No reason at all.
Ryan Pat there's too many people who fall under thousands of categories in healthcare. depending on what you have illness, disease, etc. you're screwed either by costs, slow death or fast death.
Richmond Aulisio Someone is leaking information to MAD. There is no way you Jerks can make this up so fast.
Andrew Davis Jesus healed the sick but religious zealots in the republican party think that affordable healthcare will ruin the country,
Allan John Sluis The all-Democrat passage of ObamaCare was legislative date rape and Barack Obama knows it.
John Rihn I didn't buy a new iPhone this year so I could get coverage. Just added a new soup can instead.
Girish Zambre Hey, c'mon, it's hard work coming up with empty slogans !!
Bob Pollard
James G Phillips This explains everything.
John Fisher on and on it goes, and we all know where it's gonna end up...
Jill DeYoe Give every American the exact same medical coverage
Tom Connolly
Felix Hagen I'm dying on this one :D
Zella Orr Honeyford Sad, but true.
Arthur Raphael So clever!
Julie Newkirk Washington
Steven Solomon MAD Magazine nails it again
Cranston Swainson Amerita Lue-Hing
Terry Knox John W. Allen
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineThursday, March 9th, 2017 at 5:46am

Hat’s All, Folks Dept.

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Terry Rainey Trump doesn't have to worry about the government shutting down because of this protest, since the number of women in his administration is negligible.
James G Phillips On international womens day the president will honor the occasion by having Red blood on his hands from a debacled military operation in Yemen that killed women and children while he had dinner with Wall Street executives.
Benjamin Munson Glad I'm not the only one who looks at Bannon and sees the face of a late-stage alcoholic. He constantly looks like he's living his very last day.
Edgar Figueroa Now bring on the butthurt snowflakes that are crying about how Mad is making fun of the Chessus in chief so we can roast them!
Jason Lutes He's taking the day off from grabbing them - out of respect.
Ken Frank
Shae Warzocha Pee on himself LOL
Liam Church-Okeson Am I the only one who noticed Trump looks like Gregory from the Walking Dead?
Jeremy Dyde
Leonard Terango
Matthew Huwe Betsy taking the day off.
Luis Costoso That last one is golden!
Donna Jago I'll pee on him! Anyone else??
Ross A. Hanover Wow
Liam Church-Okeson
Carol Marino Yay!
Ray T Biederman
Ron Brown
Terry Knox John W. Allen
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineWednesday, March 8th, 2017 at 8:48am

Blanks for Nothing Dept.

In the Comments section, tell us what you think the tennis player is saying in the captionless Duck Edwing cartoon below — and on Friday, we’ll announce the “winner!” Shame has never been...

Jim Estes "This one's headed my way...I got it!"
Floyd Radcliff That's the third time this month Linda, wouldn't it be easier to just break up with them!
Adrianna De Vega Don't lose your head, it's only a game!
Karen Frazier This is NOT the little head I was hoping for from you later, Jane.
Richard Bucher I said to execute the play not execute Ray!
Greg Loescher I can return this one, Alice! Just give me some head room!
Ben Sanczel "Regardless of whether it goes back over, I'm done playing after this shot."
Bruce Varner Nice form, but you should really wear your glasses.
Roy Phillips Ain't that just like a man? Loses his head over a simple game of tennis!
Mauricio Cabrera Ríos I think we will need the referee on this call...
Doug Cordell Head's up!
Joanne Arola When I said I wanted to get ahead, that's not what I meant!
Joe Latino The ol' lobbed Bob trick again huh? Not this time Sally!
Christopher Garcia Alonso Im starting to think you really can't play tennis...
Christopher Garcia Alonso No're not going to weasel your way out of paying for breakfast over this...
Jaime Larios "I really wish Trump reconsidered before backing out at the last minute."
Douglas Mark She didn't miss the ball. It's Alternative Tennis!
Vicki Schuster If I make this shot it will give us a chance to get a head.
Gordon Anthony Cave-Wallace "A well executed serve!"
Andrea Ariza "See why I told you to try playing golf? I warned you you'd lose your head!"
Fred Carullo You know, Jane, I warned you about this half a dozen "energy drinks" ago...
Dana Smith They must have updated the rules since I last played...
Lance Mills "I told your partner to keep ahead, but this is ridiculous, Mark!"
Jordin McCoy Head's up! (Seems like we all have a common theme here.🙃)
Frank Monaco "Sorry, Lenny, but if we lose, I have to spring for lunch."
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineWednesday, March 8th, 2017 at 4:58am

Dragged Through the HUD Dept.

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Joseph Polanin During the campaign folks wondered if Ben Carson really was that stupid. Yes. Yes, he is.
Ron Goldberg How did they say it in 1984? NewSpeak? As we gently alter your perception of the truth, an alternative truth if you will.
Freddy Dee Here is Obama in 2015: Certainly, it wasn’t easy for those of African heritage who had not come here voluntarily and yet in their own way were immigrants themselves. There was discrimination and hardship and poverty. But, like you, they no doubt found inspiration in all those who had come before them. And they were able to muster faith that, here in America, they might build a better life and give their children something more. Here is Carson: That’s what America is about, a land of dreams and opportunity. There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder for less. But they too had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great-grandsons, great-granddaughters, might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land.
Chas Fristachi This is revolting in many ways the saying of this stupid history revising heartless statement , the covering up of the truth prevalent in all things trump and the multiple heinous activities perpetrated in the slave trade. This clip is graphic makes me ill , I can't imagine the horror of this .
Terry Rainey Where are the Trumpsters defending Carson's remark and saying MAD is a liberal rag that only picks on conservatives?
Carl Christensen Clarence Thomas is happy - he now seems like a Black Panther in comparison.....
Betty Young Ben Carson is an idiot .He is so out of touch he never read about slaves. And how they were brought to this country separated from families, starved, raped, and worked for nothing.come on this man can't believe what just came out of his mouth. Sad sad
Jonn Neiss thanks for bringing the funny! Been reading MAD since I was a little kid in the 60's. Decades and decades of smiles. Many thanks.
Rose Shankman How can a black man be such a white supremacist... not to mention dumb as a turd.
DaviLyn Morse Proof that you can be a brain surgeon and still be an idiot!
Terry Horn Ben Carson, 12 years an immigrant, and 65 years(his age), a congenital idiot.
Carol Siflinger Funny if it wasn't so sad! Unimaginable ignorance! Lord help us!
Bruce Varner Mad Magazine, 65 years of mentally challenged juvenile humor.
Neal Warren Obama said the same thing. Oh yea. He gets a pass. As usual.
Chris Rosella
Mike Avila Perhaps an "immigrants on vacation" segment?
Anne F Z Herriott Sure don't look like immigrants..Shame on you Ben carson
Rob Berthelotte Where's all the Trumpettes?
Myra Lentini He's a moron
Jessica Deskins
Matthew Jones Needs more pith. That gaffe was a whopper.
Anna Marie Boyett-Jordan What a jerk.
Roger Bailey Priceless
Joel Geisser Weird, Obama called slaves immigrants also.
George Sakalo Gotta love Dr. Batshit, right?
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineTuesday, March 7th, 2017 at 8:09am

All About Eavesdrops Dept.

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Alex Rodriguez
Robert Wm Ruedisueli Forgot the part about Trump's complaints that phone sex operators only wanted to talk about themselves (and what they were wearing.)
Elmer Costabile Lol, They've got Paul Ryan nailed down perfectly.
Jonathan Sprague Mad, if I survive these dark, dark years, you will be the reason. Thank-you.
Chris Rosella
Todd Victor Leone Not to mention all the phone sex calls placed person-to-person to Vladimir Putin in the Kremlin.
Norberto Jose Oviedo Trump once called Liam Neeson by phone and told him " I have taken your daughter ...." then hung up without hesitation ....
Jake Gonzalez Trumps supporters are inbreds.
John R Daley
Marla Yudin Thanks for this. I needed this laugh. I am so angry that this buffon is in the White House.
Jake Gonzalez Impeach the orange disgrace!
Rosanna Hernandez
Dominick Butera .
Jerry Murawski Trump is the new Liar - in - Chief.
Robert Waller It's about time we got a laugh out of this deplorable situation.
Stephen T Mahoney Fake news, real (funny) satire!!!! Thanks!!!!!
Tom Bates Any funnies on Nancy Pollozzi?
George Lundberg The responses to these are so predictable.
Marsha Froost I lost it at urine stained mattress!!!
Richard Berns GET REAL---can you spell---stupidity with all cap`s???
Geneo Lee Trumpty had a big fall
Kevin William Ball Ah MAD bringin me back from the brink. :-)
Johanna D Wagner O.K.!!!
Dale Parson Jim Silvestri
Leviticus Headbanger Bandow Chris Huberty Clintusmaximus DeLao
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineSaturday, March 4th, 2017 at 7:44am

Blanks for Nothing Dept.

There were many caption submissions this week for John Caldwell’s uncaptioned golf cartoon, but there could only be one winner (and “winner” in this situation is really stretching the definition of the word...)...

Cadence Patrick hey MAD... what happened to your show on Cartoon Network?!?! it was funny as heck! i was laughing when i was depressed... i was younger... but what happened to it..? plz answer back
Bob Mixey I'm flabbergasted, mainly because it's my favorite word! :p
Norris Crider BACON wrapped CABBAGE & BANGER'S :P
Steven V Turner Very clever :)
Reon O'Reilly Jane Forrest David Forrest
Corey Leland
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineSaturday, March 4th, 2017 at 5:09am

Pros and Console Dept.

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Jeannie Schonta Yah! A Spy vs Spy reference! Finally! Need more of those, especially if they've got pictures of the Spies naked!!! Heh!! Heh!! Heh!! I mean-FULL FRONTAL NUDITY!! Ha!! Ha!! Yeah! I'm a perverted weirdo!!
Jennifer Hoaas-Pribil Love the parody but FYI: my kids would go INSANE for a spy vs. spy game.
Timothy White I used to have a Spy v Spy game for the NES. Fun times
Timothy Gauker You putting the Spy vs. Spy NES game on Virtual Console?
Guy Charpentier Daniel Lecavalier
Niels Adelholm Larsen Bo Adelholm Larsen
Juan Ito Heredia Joseph Cruz
Richard Velez Michael
Corey Leland Spy vs Spy Bass guitar...One of a kind!
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineFriday, March 3rd, 2017 at 4:36am

From Vlad to Worse Dept.

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Lee Phillippi Trump has the best puppets. They're better than any puppets you've ever seen. You're going to be really impressed by his puppets. Believe me.
Ed Walker Written by Joyce Lepellitere-Silverman Putin's Poodle came to town Riding on a Comey Took a dump in America's hat Coz he's a Russian phony Putin's Poodle tweets a lot Putin's Poodle's crazy Putin's Poodle will kill us all If we are blind and lazy ~!!! Country first fellow Patriots ~!!! 🇺🇸
Andrew Davis While Sally Yates was protecting and defending he Constitution Jeff Sessions was lying under oath.. guess which one Donald Trump fired?
Roy Adams Indict and convict! And don't let him have his fainting couch in his cell.
Bill Coonley Henceforth, the U.S.A. shall be known as "Other Russia".
Michael Wimmer Open Putin's closet, all of the trump administration puppets are hanging in there.
Derp Thought
Allan John Sluis Why didn't more people vote for Democrats in November?
Ros Rodriguez Trump was right. Putin is so smart tha he is conquring America without moving soldiers, only Republicans.
Andrew Davis I'm just going to get his out of the way....
Jim Estes Yes, MAD...I want more of this stupidity!
Agnes Gooch "From Vlad to Worse" - I love it! <3
Brian Zerkel who's puppet was holders then?
Philip Bond My name is Jeff, Jeff Sessions...
Tom McCarthy A liar, representing a liar, backed by liars!
Rami Shraideh
Ralph J. Schubert Russian Connections: Same fake story.
Brian-Mary Jo Lofquist Sessions should resign.
Mike Collver Get real!
Nikker Fu Funnnnnnmnyyyy
Kevin Joel
Yuriy Alterman
Jerry Fletcher Haha! That's Great...
Ed McLaughlin He's gaining quite the collection.
Greg Cox This is NOT FAKE NEWS. It's MAD but not fake
MAD Magazine
MAD MagazineThursday, March 2nd, 2017 at 10:27am

William M. Gaines, MAD's founding publisher, would have turned 95 years-old today. Since his death in 1992 his attendance in the office has been spotty.

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Steven V Turner Happy birthday Mr. Gains and thank you for your hard work and dedication to MAD magazine. MAD was a fun, funny, brilliant part of my young life :)
Roy Phillips Mr. Gaines was blessed with a great sense of humor and amazing foresight, both of which he willingly shared with his devoted followers.
Daniel Graham Mr. Gaines' attendance has been spotty since his passing, but you can still feel his disembodied spirit approving their work at the office from time to time. Whether they should feel blessed or call an exorcist is for the public to decide, they are too busy picking up the slack from South Park refusing to lampoon Trump.
Chris Kayser I used to read and collect every issue every month. I guess time and life takes over. But what great times those where.
Jeff Scott Anyone know what that cover is parodying? Earnest Borgnine surrounded by rats with Mickey Mouse ears!?! Lol. Looks like early 70's.
Alan McBride Lord, but I'm old. I remember when Bill Gaines used to wear his hair short. I will not blame him for me becoming the twisted individual I am, but I give him credit for teaching me to enjoy it :)
Edward Medina Many moons ago I pushed a coffee wagon in the Madison Ave building where Mad Magazine was originally located. I served him coffee and snacks all the time. It was my favorite floor... 😎
Kram LaFup He would be turning in his grave if not for the fact he sits in an urn on George Soros's mantelpiece. How soon after his death did you sell out MAD magazine?
Geno Young The man was a genius. He and Al Feldstein penned the most notorious comic books of all time, "The Vault Of Horror," "The Haunt Of Fear," and "Tales From The Crypt." The greatest comics ever made! Thank you Mr. Gained, from the bottom of my heart.
Barry Wolfe Has he paid any of you or given you a raise since he died? NO? You really are the usual gang of idiots. Heres to you Mr. Founder. Thanks for all the years of great stuff MindAD.
Paul Spriggs i love how mad magazine never talked down to kids and let them make up their own minds. keep up the great work everybody!
Jeannie Schonta That particular issue is the first MAD Magazine I ever saw! I was 6 or 7 at the time and it was at my cousin's house.
Duane Barringer Mr Gaines should receive the Mark Twain prize for American Humor, regardless of his absenteeism!
Bob Combes Was he a libetard like the crew running it now?
Dave Ram HK told me his attendance dropped as soon as they stopped filling the office cooler with wine.
Casey Nielsen Hey Byron Turk and Justin Harvey you should be proud to share this birthday
Julio Revoredo ainda tenho uma MAD de 1972 que fazia uma gozaçao com THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY.
George Lundberg RIP. Thank you for the laughs through my adolescence and beyond!
Betsy Hendricks Only Mad. Since his passing, his attendance in the office has been spotty. 😂😂😂 Bet he would love it.
Clark Williams Leave him alone. He is semi retired and does not have to come in regularly anymore.
Peter Dowling Unless he pulls his finger out, you're gonna have to sack him! Slacker!!
Mary Freebed Au Spotty--you mean he DID manage to attend, albeit far less reliably? That's impressive dedication.
Mervyn A McCreight And it hasn't been the same!
MOT Happy Bithday...and thank you. MAD - Magazine made me a Cartoonist too. Really, thanks for your Kind of Humor.
Tony Perodeau "Daddy is a crook, child! He publishes MAD Magazine!"
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